{"title":"FALL SCENTS","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"soap-for-dad-bods","title":"Soap for Dad Bods","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eReal men have curves.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd now there’s no reason to feel guilty! Thanks to an incredible development in the “hot guy” category, Dad Bods are officially in and 21-year-olds are officially into you. And everyone knows 21-year-olds are never wrong! So toss out that kale salad and grab another box of Birthday Cake Oreos. At least when things seem gender unfair, you’re still coming out on the winning side.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToasted Marshmallows Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Toasted Marshmallow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":9841915589,"sku":"DAD-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_9.6.23_WEB-02_0541d146-458e-4caa-ad55-4c14fed8e8cd.jpg?v=1770753872"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-dad-bods","title":"A Candle for Dad Bods","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"below\" id=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv itemprop=\"description\" class=\"rte\" id=\"full_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eReal men have curves.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAnd now there’s no reason to feel guilty! Thanks to an incredible development in the “hot guy” category, Dad Bods are officially in and 21-year-olds are officially into you. And everyone knows 21-year-olds are never wrong! So toss out that kale salad and grab another box of Birthday Cake Oreos. At least when things seem gender unfair, you’re still coming out on the winning side.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToasted Marshmallows Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Toasted Marshmallow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208850939981,"sku":"DAD-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-38.jpg?v=1770221306"},{"product_id":"soap-for-a-mans-man","title":"Soap for A Man's Man","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like Alaska\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOr what you imagine Alaska smells like while you're watching reality TV and eating Cheetos on the recliner. We think it probably smells like wet bear fur and salmon, or a toasty campfire in the middle of a blizzard. Our Soap for A Man's Man smells more like the latter, because we're pretty sure you don't want to wander around town smelling like wet fur and fish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBlizzard Campfire Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cracklin' Firewood, Cracklin' Birch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":18330720901,"sku":"MAN-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-03.jpg?v=1770747679"},{"product_id":"soap-for-shit-shows","title":"Soap for Shit Shows","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWelcome to the shit show.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eIt's poorly-produced, but what would you expect? It only took us six shots of Fireball to get here. Tonight, I mean. The shit show of my life needs no lubricant. All I have to to is roll out of bed, avoid the mirror and slink off to my day job to count the hours until it's happy hour again. And look, it's almost noon already! See you at the bar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFireball Shots Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Hot Cinnamon\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":30390471369,"sku":"SHI-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-07.jpg?v=1770831150"},{"product_id":"soap-for-grammar-police","title":"Soap for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells annoying.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJust wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you're, thanks to Facebook trolls. True, it was something the rest of us learned in first grade, but what the hell. Welcome to the club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about everyone else's grammatical errors. Trust me, you're still making some.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJelly Doughnut Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Raspberry, Sugar Cookie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31768549449,"sku":"GRA-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-09.jpg?v=1770760538"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-a-mans-man","title":"A Candle for a Man's Man","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"below\" id=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"rte\" id=\"full_description\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like Alaska\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOr what you imagine Alaska smells like while you're watching reality TV and eating Cheetos on the recliner. We think it probably smells like wet bear fur and salmon, or a toasty campfire in the middle of a blizzard. Our Soap for A Man's Man smells more like the latter, because we're pretty sure you don't want to wander around town smelling like wet fur and fish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBlizzard Campfire Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cracklin' Firewood, Cracklin' Birch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208827150413,"sku":"MAN-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-19.jpg?v=1770746140"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-grammar-police","title":"A Candle for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells annoying.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eJust wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you're, thanks to Facebook trolls. True, it was something the rest of us learned in first grade, but what the hell. Welcome to the club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about everyone else's grammatical errors. Trust me, you're still making some.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJelly Doughnut Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Raspberry, Sugar Cookie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208906481741,"sku":"GRA-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-35.jpg?v=1770224649"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-shit-shows","title":"A Candle for Shit Shows","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWelcome to the shit show.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's poorly-produced, but what would you expect? It only took us six shots of Fireball to get here. Tonight, I mean. The shit show of my life needs no lubricant. All I have to to is roll out of bed, avoid the mirror and slink off to my day job to count the hours until it's happy hour again. And look, it's almost noon already! See you at the bar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFireball Shots Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Hot Cinnamon\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208922734669,"sku":"SHI-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-11.jpg?v=1770313291"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fuck-this","title":"Fuck This Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like I'm over it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAmaretto Sour Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cherry, Cherry Almond\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21094958825549,"sku":"WT1-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT1-C.jpg?v=1771629185"},{"product_id":"soap-for-fucking-meetings","title":"Soap for Fucking Meetings","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eMeetings.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe icing on the arsenic cake that is any weekday morning, afternoon or evening. And speaking of evenings... didja have to schedule the WebEx for 6:15 p.m. on a Friday, \u003cem\u003eBecky\u003c\/em\u003e? All to tell me you’d put feedback in the \u003cem\u003ePowerpoint\u003c\/em\u003e? Because you couldn’t put that in a \u003cem\u003efucking email\u003c\/em\u003e? Don't worry. I'll \u003cem\u003etext\u003c\/em\u003e you all my \u003cem\u003efeedback\u003c\/em\u003e on \u003cem\u003eSaturday\u003c\/em\u003e around \u003cem\u003edawn\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBourbon in My Coffee Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Caramel, Fresh Brewed Coffee\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28399813722189,"sku":"FME-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_9.6.23_WEB-03_24a47ac4-d83c-437e-9cdf-839a63976d41.jpg?v=1770759422"},{"product_id":"soap-for-teachers","title":"Soap for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt's a snow day somewhere...\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePoisoned Apple Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Delicious Apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28399832105037,"sku":"TEA-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-11.jpg?v=1770832295"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fucking-meetings","title":"A Candle for Fucking Meetings","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eMeetings.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThe icing on the arsenic cake that is any weekday morning, afternoon or evening. And speaking of evenings... didja have to schedule the WebEx for 6:15 p.m. on a Friday, \u003cem\u003eBecky\u003c\/em\u003e? All to tell me you’d put feedback in the \u003cem\u003ePowerpoint\u003c\/em\u003e? Because you couldn’t put that in a \u003cem\u003efucking email\u003c\/em\u003e? Don't worry. I'll \u003cem\u003etext\u003c\/em\u003e you all my \u003cem\u003efeedback\u003c\/em\u003e on \u003cem\u003eSaturday\u003c\/em\u003e around \u003cem\u003edawn\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBourbon in My Coffee Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Caramel, Fresh Brewed Coffee\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208904482893,"sku":"FME-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-18.jpg?v=1770223428"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-teachers","title":"A Candle for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt's a snow day somewhere...\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePoisoned Apple Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Delicious Apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208925519949,"sku":"TEA-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-36.jpg?v=1770314486"},{"product_id":"fuck-it-vintage-paint-can-dle","title":"Fuck It Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI'm done.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBergamot, Tobacco, and Yuzu Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Yuzu, Bergamot Tobacco Archipelago\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208886657101,"sku":"PAI-1","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-1.jpg?v=1771608046"},{"product_id":"for-fucks-sake-vintage-paint-can-dle","title":"For Fuck's Sake Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLight a candle, please \u0026amp; thank you.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSmoked Vanilla \u0026amp; Teakwood Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Brimstone, Indonesian Teakwood, Vanilla Oak\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208886100045,"sku":"PAI-4","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-4.jpg?v=1771607830"},{"product_id":"evil-presence-detected-emergency-ambiance-travel-tin","title":"Evil Presence Detected Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSpicy Cherry Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Cherry, Mexican Spice\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927867863117,"sku":"EVI-T","price":7.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.6.23_SMALLSQUARE-13.jpg?v=1771516663"},{"product_id":"other-people-emergency-ambiance-travel-tin-new","title":"Other People Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eGreen Apple Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Green Apple Explosion, Lime Cilantro\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927877431373,"sku":"OTH-T","price":7.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_EMERGENCY_AMBIANCE_SMALL_SQUARE-4.jpg?v=1730423730"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-caffeine-addicts","title":"A Candle for Caffeine Addicts","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eDon't talk to me before my first coffee.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI mean it. I need at least a full pot before I can even talk properly. I don't know exactly how I got here but I'm definitely digging it. Without sporting vibrating knees and jittery teeth, is it really even me at this point? I wear caffeine like a suit of armor. My own personal suit of piping-hot, nutty-flavored, full-blown anxiety.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCoffee Shop Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cinnamon Buns, Fresh Brewed Coffee, Vanilla\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\" data-mce-style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363929243725,"sku":"ADD-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-20.jpg?v=1770219984"},{"product_id":"soap-for-caffeine-addicts","title":"Soap for Caffeine Addicts","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eDon't talk to me before my first coffee.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI mean it. I need at least a full pot before I can even talk properly. I don't know exactly how I got here but I'm definitely digging it. Without sporting vibrating knees and jittery teeth, is it really even me at this point? I wear caffeine like a suit of armor. My own personal suit of piping-hot, nutty-flavored, full-blown anxiety.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCoffee Shop Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cinnamon Buns, Fresh Brewed Coffee, Vanilla\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363934191693,"sku":"ADD-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_9.6.23_WEB-05_8b4f920a-2103-422d-9d77-484e2fb0c612.jpg?v=1770751001"},{"product_id":"shits-fucked-emergency-ambiance-travel-tin","title":"Shit's Fucked Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eBurn It Down Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Brimstone, Grapefruit, Patchouli\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363986718797,"sku":"SHI-T","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.6.23_SMALLSQUARE-12.jpg?v=1771519983"},{"product_id":"who-gives-a-flying-fuck-vintage-paint-can-dle","title":"Who Gives a Flying Fuck? Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eNot me.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eMidnight Mayday Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Blackberry, Amber, Sweet Tobacco\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363989864525,"sku":"PAI-5","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-5.jpg?v=1771608816"},{"product_id":"magic-candle-for-instant-karma","title":"Magic Candle for Instant Karma","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eInstant Karma\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEver wish you could simply light a magic candle and make all your dreams come true? Well, you still can’t. Sorry, kid. (Bet you still believe in the Tooth Fairy, too.) But hey, it never hurts to try, does it? Trust me, I’ve been burning the Success candle for a week now. Idk, I’m feeling kinda lucky!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eNearly Nirvanic Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Jasmine, Cinnamon, Pink Peppercorn\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364027088973,"sku":"MC-KAR","price":4.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/products\/MC-KAR.jpg?v=1624111200"},{"product_id":"teachers-air-freshener","title":"Teachers Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ePoisoned Apple Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364040163405,"sku":"TEA-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_PHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALL_SQUARE-14.jpg?v=1723580142"},{"product_id":"gee-whiz-anti-cursing-paint-can-candle","title":"Gee Whiz Anti-Cursing Paint Can Candle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eGee Whiz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eDon’t you think people are just cursing too much these days? With all the F-bombs and r-words and see you next Tuesdays flying around everywhere, it’s hard to get a word in edgewise. So take the easy way out: buy this candle and shut the fuck up. Thanks!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eOff-Brand Boxed Wine Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Blood Orange, Fresh Peach, Red Delicious Apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478624112886,"sku":"ACC-WHIZ","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_ACC-WHIZ.jpg?v=1771609532"},{"product_id":"caffeine-addicts-air-freshener","title":"Caffeine Addicts Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't talk to me before my first coffee.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eI mean it. I need at least a full pot before I can even talk properly. I don't know exactly how I got here but I'm definitely digging it. Without sporting vibrating knees and jittery teeth, is it really even me at this point? I wear caffeine like a suit of armor. My own personal suit of piping-hot, nutty-flavored, full-blown anxiety.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCoffee Shop Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478697087222,"sku":"ADD-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-06.jpg?v=1730422459"},{"product_id":"fuck-this-wtf-air-freshener","title":"Fuck This WTF Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSmells like I'm over it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAmaretto Sour Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478726316278,"sku":"WT1-F","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-45.jpg?v=1770152619"},{"product_id":"soap-for-alone-time","title":"Soap for Alone Time","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like a good book and a cup of hot tea\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBoy, are you terrible at taking hints. When I started responding to all your inane questions with random non-sequiturs, you didn't flinch. When I quit looking you in the eye, nada. And when I screamed \"leave me the F alone!\" at the top of my lungs, you fled the room but went on a texting spree. And that's why I hopped on a bus to Alaska and ditched my phone for soup cans.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLeave Me Alone Tea Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Chai Tea, Newsprint\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478829011190,"sku":"ALO-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-02.jpg?v=1770748049"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-alone-time","title":"A Candle for Alone Time","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like a good book and a cup of hot tea\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBoy, are you terrible at taking hints. When I started responding to all your inane questions with random non-sequiturs, you didn't flinch. When I quit looking you in the eye, nada. And when I screamed \"leave me the F alone!\" at the top of my lungs, you fled the room but went on a texting spree. And that's why I hopped on a bus to Alaska and ditched my phone for soup cans.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLeave Me Alone Tea Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Chai Tea, Newsprint\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478877835510,"sku":"ALO-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-09.jpg?v=1770166358"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-im-too-sexy","title":"A Candle for I'm Too Sexy","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eToo sexy, baby.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThe truth hurts. At least for this less-sexy-than-me candle. I mean, it's \u003cem\u003esexy\u003c\/em\u003e and all, but not as sexy as moi. In fact, looking around, I'm a little too sexy for my surroundings, and I'm not just saying that because I'm sitting on a scratch-and-dent sofa from IKEA and staring at a box of stale Sugar Smacks and a stack of still-frozen waffles. But I am watching Scooby Doo so that does sex it up a smidge.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSexy Syrup Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Graham Cracker, Maple Sugar\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478881276150,"sku":"SEX-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_SMALL_SQUARE-05.jpg?v=1730421824"},{"product_id":"fuck-retro-stripe","title":"Fuck Retro Stripe","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\" data-mce-style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eFUCK\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003eI LOVE CANDLES\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSmells like your favorite candle \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eVanilla-Something Scented\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNotes of tobacco and vanilla\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eNet Weight: 8 oz.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eHand-poured 100% soy wax candle\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eBurn time: approx. 40 hours\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eNote: Because all of our candles are handmade, no two are identical.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2021 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44148103250166,"sku":"RS-FUC","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_RETROSTRIPE_SMALLSQUARE-3.jpg?v=1771521610"},{"product_id":"hope-retro-stripe","title":"Hope Retro Stripe","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\" data-mce-style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHOPE\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003eTHE BAR'S STILL OPEN\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSmells like another dumb thing\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLast-Call Highball Scented\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNotes of cherry and caramel\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eNet Weight: 8 oz.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eHand-poured 100% soy wax candle\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eBurn time: approx. 40 hours\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eNote: Because all of our candles are handmade, no two are identical.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2021 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44148123566326,"sku":"RS-HOP","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_RETROSTRIPE_SMALLSQUARE-4.jpg?v=1771521798"},{"product_id":"a-real-badass-candle","title":"A Real Badass Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like truth\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eGin Martini Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Gin Martini\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645278454,"sku":"WT10-C","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT10-C.jpg?v=1771628625"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-always-late","title":"Soap for Always Late","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like I just didn't want to come\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAre you always running a few minutes late? This candle's for you! Set it alight and let its warm flickering light remind you it's time to go. Perfect for people who don't want to be tardy, but always, inevitably, are. No need to be late for this party!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAbsent Amber Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Amber Tobacco\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645475062,"sku":"ALW-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-11.jpg?v=1770748253"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-always-late","title":"A Candle for Always Late","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like I just didn't want to come\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAre you always running a few minutes late? This candle's for you! Set it alight and let its warm flickering light remind you it's time to go. Perfect for people who don't want to be tardy, but always, inevitably, are. No need to be late for this party!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAbsent Amber Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Amber Tobacco\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815646261494,"sku":"ALW-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-1.jpg?v=1770166586"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-night-owls","title":"A Candle for Night Owls","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like caffeine and a creative spark\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eNight Owls, explore the world around you with A Candle for Night Owls, featuring caffeine and a creative spark. Venture forth with alertness, no sleep required. Illuminate your adventures today!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eMidnight Elixir Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cinnamon Buns, Mt. Dew\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815646654710,"sku":"NIT-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_TEAL_SMALL_SQUARE-15.jpg?v=1770311695"},{"product_id":"deez-nuts-boxed-bar-soap","title":"Deez Nuts Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTreat yourself to something special with Deez Nuts Triple-Milled Bar Soap. Made with deep cleaning powers, this box of soap will help you get your dirty areas squeaky clean. Plus, it's perfect for washing your naughty bits.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172877295862,"sku":"S-NUTS","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPBOXES_HANDWALLPAPER_SMALLSQUARE_S-NUTS.jpg?v=1771442134"},{"product_id":"big-cock-boxed-bar-soap","title":"Big Cock Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #f90a0a;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eExperience the ultimate in clean with our Big Cock Triple-Milled Boxed Bar Soap! Get dirtier with this unique and playful soap, featuring a big cock design that's sure to make you smile. Be sure to wash away the dirtiness and stay fresh.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172877656310,"sku":"S-COCK","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPBOXES_HANDWALLPAPER_SMALLSQUARE_S-COCK.jpg?v=1771441002"},{"product_id":"omg-the-dog-boxed-bar-soap","title":"OMG the Dog Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOMG the Dog Triple-Milled Boxed Bar Soap will make showering feel like your pup is by your side. You'll get the eerie yet comforting feeling that you're not alone in the bathroom... Fido's always watching.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172878573814,"sku":"S-DOG","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPBOXES_HANDWALLPAPER_SMALLSQUARE_S-DOG.jpg?v=1771444584"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-crystals","title":"A Candle for Crystals","description":"\u003ch4\u003e Smells like someone is hoarding rocks\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\"Spiritual\" Incense Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172879589622,"sku":"CRS-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-09.jpg?v=1770221158"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-shit-talking","title":"A Candle for Shit Talking","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like oh, yeah?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eRed Hots Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Hot Cinnamon\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172879655158,"sku":"SHT-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-07.jpg?v=1770313483"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-99-problems","title":"A Candle for 99 Problems","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like a candle ain't one\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou can think of 99 Problems just from this morning. Your car is a POS. Your job sucks. Your ex is ruining your life. We can't say this candle will solve any of your problems but at least your apartment won't smell like ass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSantal 99 Scented\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172879720694,"sku":"99P-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_TEAL_SMALL_SQUARE-12.jpg?v=1723748298"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-crystals","title":"Soap for Crystals","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like someone is hoarding rocks\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\"Spiritual\" Incense Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172881129718,"sku":"CRS-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-12.jpg?v=1770753417"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-99-problems","title":"Soap for 99 Problems","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like a soap ain't one\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou can think of 99 Problems just from this morning. Your car is a POS. Your job sucks. Your ex is ruining your life. We can't say this soap will solve any of your problems but at least you won't have an unwashed ass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSantal 99 Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172881228022,"sku":"99P-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-13.jpg?v=1770747489"},{"product_id":"70s-bush-boxed-bar-soap","title":"70s Bush Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoap dimensions: 7 ⅝″ H × 2 ⅝″ W × 1″ L.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNet Weight: 3 oz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775968207094,"sku":"S-BUSH","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/70sBush_Square.jpg?v=1771440578"},{"product_id":"emotional-support-boxed-bar-soap","title":"Emotional Support Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSoap dimensions: 7 ⅝″ H × 2 ⅝″ W × 1″ L.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNet Weight: 3 oz\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775968272630,"sku":"S-EMOTIONAL","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_BOXSOAPS_GREENHAND_SQUARE-11.jpg?v=1771442452"},{"product_id":"always-late-air-freshener","title":"Always Late Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAbsent Amber Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStart your day with an Always Late air freshener and you'll be ready to rock and roll in no time! Our powerful blend of late and don't want to come will have you out the door quick as a wink, plus you'll be oh so fragrant! Let us be your trusty sidekick on those days when you just don't wanna.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969190134,"sku":"ALW-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-17.jpg?v=1730422145"},{"product_id":"99-problems-air-freshener","title":"99 Problems Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSantal 99 Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou can think of 99 Problems just from this morning. Your car is a POS. Your job sucks. Your ex is ruining your life. We can't say this air freshener will solve any of your problems but at least you won't have an unwashed ass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969419510,"sku":"99P-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-11.jpg?v=1730421519"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-fuck-this","title":"Soap for Fuck This.","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like I'm over it\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAmaretto Sour Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cherry, Almond\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969452278,"sku":"WT1-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_WTFSOAPS_DARKBLUE_SQUARE-01.jpg?v=1770924335"},{"product_id":"the-cool-s-air-freshener","title":"The Cool S Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eBlack Spice Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47003178795254,"sku":null,"price":8.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_AIR_FRESHENERS_SMALL_SQUARE-09.jpg?v=1724687418"},{"product_id":"mama-tried-air-freshener","title":"Mama Tried Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou're a Peach Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":47683652092150,"sku":"TRY-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOAF_2025_SQUARE-03_9494425b-6619-4565-a3fe-293e5f9968d8.jpg?v=1770150225"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiskeyriversoap.com\/collections\/fall-scents.oembed?page=3","provider":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}