{"title":"GIFTS FOR THE FAMILY YOU ACTUALLY LIKE (AND\/OR TOLERATE)","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"soap-for-dad-bods","title":"Soap for Dad Bods","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eReal men have curves.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd now there’s no reason to feel guilty! Thanks to an incredible development in the “hot guy” category, Dad Bods are officially in and 21-year-olds are officially into you. And everyone knows 21-year-olds are never wrong! So toss out that kale salad and grab another box of Birthday Cake Oreos. At least when things seem gender unfair, you’re still coming out on the winning side.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToasted Marshmallows Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Toasted Marshmallow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":9841915589,"sku":"DAD-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_9.6.23_WEB-02_0541d146-458e-4caa-ad55-4c14fed8e8cd.jpg?v=1770753872"},{"product_id":"soap-for-hoarders-1","title":"Soap for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho are you again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePurple Haze Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Muscadine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":9895513669,"sku":"MID-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-17.jpg?v=1770853381"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-middle-child","title":"A Candle for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product-description\" class=\"below\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"full_description\" class=\"rte\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho are you again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePurple Haze Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Muscadine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208927748173,"sku":"MID-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-14.jpg?v=1770741363"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-dad-bods","title":"A Candle for Dad Bods","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"below\" id=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv itemprop=\"description\" class=\"rte\" id=\"full_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eReal men have curves.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAnd now there’s no reason to feel guilty! Thanks to an incredible development in the “hot guy” category, Dad Bods are officially in and 21-year-olds are officially into you. And everyone knows 21-year-olds are never wrong! So toss out that kale salad and grab another box of Birthday Cake Oreos. At least when things seem gender unfair, you’re still coming out on the winning side.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eToasted Marshmallows Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Toasted Marshmallow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208850939981,"sku":"DAD-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-38.jpg?v=1770221306"},{"product_id":"soap-for-okay-moms","title":"Soap for Okay Moms","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eCongratulations.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eYou’re the world’s okayest mom! I’d get you a mug, but you know I swore off giving gifts years ago after Sue Ellen from high school forgot to publicly wish me a “Happy Birthday” on Facebook and destroyed my love of holidays forever. But let’s face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, with their spotless car seats, neatly organized organic snacks, and “adequately-stocked” first aid kits. Okay Moms are the best kind of moms. Sippy cup wine, the five-second rule, and loads of naps are where it’s at...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSippy Cup Wine Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Merlot\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":18330632965,"sku":"OKA-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-14.jpg?v=1770769842"},{"product_id":"soap-for-a-mans-man","title":"Soap for A Man's Man","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like Alaska\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eOr what you imagine Alaska smells like while you're watching reality TV and eating Cheetos on the recliner. We think it probably smells like wet bear fur and salmon, or a toasty campfire in the middle of a blizzard. Our Soap for A Man's Man smells more like the latter, because we're pretty sure you don't want to wander around town smelling like wet fur and fish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBlizzard Campfire Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cracklin' Firewood, Cracklin' Birch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":18330720901,"sku":"MAN-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-03.jpg?v=1770747679"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-a-mans-man","title":"A Candle for a Man's Man","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"below\" id=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"rte\" id=\"full_description\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like Alaska\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOr what you imagine Alaska smells like while you're watching reality TV and eating Cheetos on the recliner. We think it probably smells like wet bear fur and salmon, or a toasty campfire in the middle of a blizzard. Our Soap for A Man's Man smells more like the latter, because we're pretty sure you don't want to wander around town smelling like wet fur and fish.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBlizzard Campfire Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cracklin' Firewood, Cracklin' Birch\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208827150413,"sku":"MAN-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-19.jpg?v=1770746140"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-okay-moms","title":"A Candle for Okay Moms","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"below\" id=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"rte\" id=\"full_description\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eCongratulations.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eYou’re the world’s okayest mom! I’d get you a mug, but you know I swore off giving gifts years ago after Sue Ellen from high school forgot to publicly wish me a “Happy Birthday” on Facebook and destroyed my love of holidays forever. But let’s face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, with their spotless car seats, neatly organized organic snacks, and “adequately-stocked” first aid kits. Okay Moms are the best kind of moms. Sippy cup wine, the five-second rule, and loads of naps are where it’s at...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSippy Cup Wine Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Merlot\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208917885005,"sku":"OKA-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-04.jpg?v=1770311807"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-first-child","title":"Soap for The First Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYou just had to have your own soap.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eWell, it’s only natural that you should get a candle. You were first, right? The eldest. The most important. But you’re also the family guinea pig, the one who is always the most responsible, and the one who must succeed at all costs. No pressure there, right?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBrand-New Everything Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Wintergreen\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029029609549,"sku":"FIC-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-15.jpg?v=1770853066"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-first-child","title":"A Candle for The First Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYou just had to have your own soap.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eWell, it’s only natural that you should get a candle. You were first, right? The eldest. The most important. But you’re also the family guinea pig, the one who is always the most responsible, and the one who must succeed at all costs. No pressure there, right?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBrand-New Everything Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Wintergreen\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208927256653,"sku":"FIC-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-22.jpg?v=1770740763"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-middle-child-old","title":"Pencils for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho Are You, Again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWho Are You Again?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatches the Hair Color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou Never Did Like Attention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBut You're Good with Rejection!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOnline College Will Be Fine for You\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand-Me-Down Pencil\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEternally Overlooked\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNobody Will Read This\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029531484237,"sku":"MID-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-11_e550741b-902d-45fa-b6cc-1ea8890527e3.jpg?v=1771267614"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-okay-moms-old","title":"Pencils for Okay Moms","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eCongratulations.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eYou're the world's okayest mom! Please don’t take offense! Face it, perfect moms are the absolute worst, what with their spotless car seats, healthy and organic snacks packed neatly in recyclable containers, and quick-draw first aid kits. Okay moms are where it’s at. Okay moms are where you want to live: sippy cup wine, the five-second rule, and naps that overlap into second naps.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eWhat Kids?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eYay! Cheez-Its for Dinner!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Never Did My Homework Either, Kid\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDoes This Sippy Cup Smell Like Wine?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eTrust Me, I'm the Okayest Mom Here\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eCan't You Just Leave Mommy Alone?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eWhere's Your Frickin' Father?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eMommy's Buzzed Up\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029543968845,"sku":"OKA-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_ORIGINALPENCILS_10.12.23_SMALLSQUARE-2.jpg?v=1771265890"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-boomers-vs-millennials","title":"Pencils for Boomers Vs. Millennials","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePass the Popcorn\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWith the two largest generations in history at each other’s virtual throats on social media, this is the most epic battle since white or wheat. Who’s more entitled? Who’s more maligned? And does it even matter? HEY. Of course it does. Ask any one of them. But really. Pass the popcorn. This is some serious entertainment.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eMillennials are Snowflakes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBoomers Ruined Everything\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eMystery Meat on a Stick!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIs This Latte Faire Trade?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThoughts and Prayers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOK Boomer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eFinding True Love was Harder Back Then\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eFinding a Hook Up is Wack Now\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31844227186765,"sku":"BOO-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-08_d63cafb9-aaf1-49c6-9433-9ea3adf7c2ce.jpg?v=1771260055"},{"product_id":"soap-for-besties","title":"Soap for Besties","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eLet's unpack this.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd by that, I mean let's unpack everything. I have soooo many things I need to tell you since I last saw you 12 hours ago. And nobody else understands my bitching the way you do! We've got our own girl gang and we don't need any new members. So drink up, buttercup. 'Cuz we're not doing this sober.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eGrape Hard Seltzer Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Mt. Dew, Muscadine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31844266213453,"sku":"BES-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-10.jpg?v=1770749401"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-trophy-husband","title":"Soap for The Trophy Husband","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSup.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSee that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a week but I'm telling you, my wife pays all the bills. She's the breadwinner around here and I'm a-ok with that. You got something to say about it? Too bad. And get back to work, corporate slave. Your break is over.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTricked-Out Porsche Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: New Car Scent, OMG Olive\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31844630986829,"sku":"TRO-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-02.jpg?v=1770853632"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-besties","title":"A Candle for Besties","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eLet's unpack this.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAnd by that, I mean let's unpack everything. I have soooo many things I need to tell you since I last saw you 12 hours ago. And nobody else understands my bitching the way you do! We've got our own girl gang and we don't need any new members. So drink up, buttercup. 'Cuz we're not doing this sober.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eGrape Hard Seltzer Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Mt. Dew, Muscadine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208834293837,"sku":"BES-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-37_545d5fca-f757-4ba7-8962-9b25a5329971.jpg?v=1770219178"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-trophy-husbands","title":"A Candle for The Trophy Husband","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSup.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSee that guy sitting poolside in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon like he doesn't have a care in the world? Yep, that's me. Okay, maybe I work two nights a week but I'm telling you, my wife pays all the bills. She's the breadwinner around here and I'm a-ok with that. You got something to say about it? Too bad. And get back to work, corporate slave. Your break is over.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eTricked-Out Porsche Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: New Car Scent, OMG Olive\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208934301773,"sku":"TRO-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-10.jpg?v=1770741641"},{"product_id":"shit-show-colored-pencils","title":"SHIT SHOW COLORED PENCILS","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePencils for a Colorful Life\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWho doesn’t love colored pencils? Turn that gray world Technicolor with our new Shit Show Colored Pencil Set.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBrownie Stash Green\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDrug Test Fear Yellow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eOverzealous Spray Tan Orange\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLipstick Smears Red\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eWine Teeth Purple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSend Nudes Pink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eEmpty Bottle Blues\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBad Tattoos Black\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927832244301,"sku":"SHI-P","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_COLOREDPENCILS_BROWNHAND_SMALLSQUARE_SHI-P.jpg?v=1771269996"},{"product_id":"old-school-matchbooks-variety-pack-your-mom","title":"Old School Matchbooks Variety Pack: Your Mom","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLIGHT ’EM UP.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\nYeah, matches are USEFUL. And we know everyone likes lighting shit on fire occasionally... no? Just me and my student loan paperwork? Oh, ok. Anyway, throw a matchbook in with that candle you’re gifting! Leave it as the tip for your server! We know they’ll be just as surprised as you once they read what businesses are selling these days.\u003cem\u003e\u003cem\u003e Yikes!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cb style=\"font-style: italic;\"\u003eOld School Matchbooks Pack: Your Mom\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eIncludes 4 matchbooks: Your Mom Bail Bonds, Nuthin’ Special Summer Camp, Dusted Off Gently Used Adult Toys, and ABC Management Training.\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003e© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32934235799629,"sku":"VP5-M","price":6.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_MATCHES_SMALLSQUARE-05_9732bba2-9ec6-4300-a059-e67fd7b2face.jpg?v=1772818543"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-cool-aunt","title":"A Candle for the Cool Aunt","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eHoney, hand me that bottle?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eYour auntie needs another top-off. It's been a \u003cem style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eweek\u003c\/em\u003e, I tell ya. My work load is \u003cem style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eintense\u003c\/em\u003e and my dating life is an absolute \u003cem\u003etrain wreck\u003c\/em\u003e\u003ci style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e.\u003c\/i\u003e Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece and nephew is giving me \u003cem style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003elife\u003c\/em\u003e right now. I don't know why your mom complains so much, you two are absolute angels. You know, she wasn't \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e this strict. You should've \u003cem\u003eseen\u003c\/em\u003e her in high school, oh my lord, she used to...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJuicy Gossip Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cantaloupe, Fresh Peach, Juicy Fruit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363927081037,"sku":"AUN-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-25.jpg?v=1770315452"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-fun-uncle","title":"A Candle for the Fun Uncle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eBeer me!\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eWhite 80, hut, hut, hike!\u003c\/em\u003e I still don't know what that means, but it's something my uncle would've said as he wrestled me and my brothers to the living room with a full beer in his paw while he simultaneously kept his eyes on the tv the whole time, stopping only to shout obscenities at the refs for \"cheating\" and being \"morons.\" Sure, someone always got injured in the end, but to be honest, rough-housing with the fun uncle was some of the best times we ever had.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBlack Ice Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Blood Orange, Christmas Tree, Indian Sandalwood, Violet\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363927441485,"sku":"UNC-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-07.jpg?v=1770740956"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-fun-uncle","title":"Soap for the Fun Uncle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eBeer me!\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eWhite 80, hut, hut, hike!\u003c\/em\u003e I still don't know what that means, but it's something my uncle would've said as he wrestled me and my brothers to the living room with a full beer in his paw while he simultaneously kept his eyes on the tv the whole time, stopping only to shout obscenities at the refs for \"cheating\" and being \"morons.\" Sure, someone always got injured in the end, but to be honest, rough-housing with the fun uncle was some of the best times we ever had.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBlack Ice Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Blood Orange, Christmas Tree, Indian Sandalwood, Violet\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363932651597,"sku":"UNC-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-06.jpg?v=1770859041"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-cool-aunt","title":"Soap for The Cool Aunt","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eHoney, hand me that bottle?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eYour auntie needs another top-off. It's been a \u003cem\u003eweek\u003c\/em\u003e, I tell ya. My work load is \u003cem\u003eintense\u003c\/em\u003e and my dating life is an absolute \u003cem\u003etrain wreck\u003c\/em\u003e\u003ci\u003e.\u003c\/i\u003e Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece and nephew is giving me \u003cem\u003elife\u003c\/em\u003e right now. I don't know why your mom complains so much, you two are absolute angels. You know, she wasn't \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e this strict. You should've \u003cem\u003eseen\u003c\/em\u003e her in high school, oh my lord, she used to...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJuicy Gossip Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cantaloupe, Fresh Peach, Juicy Fruit\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363934781517,"sku":"AUN-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-04.jpg?v=1770857757"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-midlife-crisis-old","title":"Pencils for Midlife Crisis","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho Says Existential Dread Can't Be Fun?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCongratulations, you’ve made it to middle age! All those years of being “financially responsible” means you can finally buy a motorcycle and the bitchin’ leather jacket to match. Or maybe a year-long silent meditation retreat is more your speed. Either way, you’ve earned it, after all. At least that’s what you’re going to tell yourself on the way to surf camp.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI Should Go Back to School\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSigned Up for Banjo Lessons!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWhat Do You Think of Botox?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eA Tattoo Sleeve Would Give Me an Edge\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOff to Improv Camp!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eMy Other Pencil is a Motorcycle\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm So Punk With My Pink Hair\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBought a Food Truck!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363941236813,"sku":"MIC-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-10_f686a392-91df-49ca-9759-b5da40a4f5bd.jpg?v=1771264908"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-cool-dads-old","title":"Pencils for Cool Dads","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSo funny I forgot to laugh\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhere in the heck are you and the other dads getting these so-called “jokes” from anyway, Corny Dads Quarterly? I mean, come on now… Does every conversation need a fart reference? Are you all a hive mind? I’m kidding, Dad. I totally respect the dad comedy. You’ve always said that money doesn’t grow on trees, but maybe dad jokes do!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePull My Finger\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThat's How They Get You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm Just Resting My Eyes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBoom, You're a Sandwich\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eNo, Your Other Right\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eDon't Tell Your Mom\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWorkin' Hard or Hardly Workin'?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHi Hungry, I'm Dad\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363942416461,"sku":"DAD-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-20_2d2825d1-fd50-4281-990e-8bd0fc0e2662.jpg?v=1771260575"},{"product_id":"trophy-husband-air-freshener","title":"Trophy Husband Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eTricked-Out Porsche Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364040228941,"sku":"TRO-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEWDUOAF_SMALLSQUARE-22.jpg?v=1770148775"},{"product_id":"middle-child-air-freshener","title":"Middle Child Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCrazy Grape Scented.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364043538509,"sku":"MID-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-07.jpg?v=1730423215"},{"product_id":"okay-moms-air-freshener","title":"Okay Moms Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSippy Cup Wine Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364044292173,"sku":"OKA-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-22.jpg?v=1770136464"},{"product_id":"old-school-matchboxes-variety-pack-it-s-the-thought-that-counts","title":"Old School Matchboxes Variety Pack: It’s The Thought That Counts","description":"\u003cdiv data-mce-fragment=\"1\" id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eLIGHT ’EM UP.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eYeah, matches are USEFUL. And not just for lighting candles. Place them in your attic to ward off ghosts! Chuck them in your bag and set fires on the go. Perfect for the unemployed! Guaranteed dolphin-safe by Ol’ Uncle Jimbo. \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWarning: do not perch matchboxes precariously on the edge of a baby’s crib.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cb data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eOld School Matchbox Pack: It’s The Thought That Counts\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eIncludes 4 matchboxes: It’s The Thought That Counts, Look Ma! No Hands, Uncle Podcast, and Boomer’s Café.\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003ci data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39381073100877,"sku":"VP11-M","price":7.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_MATCHES_SMALL_SQUARE-16.jpg?v=1730423616"},{"product_id":"the-cool-aunt-air-freshener","title":"The Cool Aunt Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eHoney, hand me that bottle?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eYour auntie needs another top-off. It's been a \u003cem\u003eweek\u003c\/em\u003e, I tell ya. My work load is \u003cem\u003eintense\u003c\/em\u003e and my dating life is an absolute \u003cem\u003etrain wreck\u003c\/em\u003e\u003ci\u003e.\u003c\/i\u003e Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece and nephew is giving me \u003cem\u003elife\u003c\/em\u003e right now. I don't know why your mom complains so much, you two are absolute angels. You know, she wasn't \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e this strict. You should've \u003cem\u003eseen\u003c\/em\u003e her in high school, oh my lord, she used to...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eJuicy Gossip Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478704427254,"sku":"AUN-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOAF_2025_SQUARE-09_4155345e-0b91-48d3-a4f2-bdd142ec9493.jpg?v=1770150104"},{"product_id":"dad-jokes-air-freshener","title":"Dad Jokes Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eHi, Tired! My name's Dad.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAh, dads. They're the best and the worst. At least when it comes to joke telling. Or sharing memes. Ok, dude. I hear ya. Puns are FUNNY. Except when they're not. Which is basically always. Love ya anyway.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBanana Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478706721014,"sku":"DAJ-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-19.jpg?v=1730422737"},{"product_id":"soap-for-mom-brain","title":"Soap for Mom Brain","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePhone in the fridge again.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eI used to have functioning brain cells, but that no-good husband of mine screwed me over and now I have feral children instead. If I have to hear, \"Mom, he's hitting me\" and, \"Call 911!\" one more time, I swear to the Grey Goose god... Speaking of which, have you seen my double martini? And the baby? They were both in the oven last time I checked.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSoggy Cheerios Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Milk, Honey Almond, Oatmeal Milk \u0026amp; Honey\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478843756790,"sku":"MOM-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-03.jpg?v=1770767115"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-baby-bumps","title":"A Candle for Baby Bumps","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eOh, this?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eNo, this is just a little beer belly that will end up wrecking my body and taking over my life for the next 18 years, not to mention all the incontinence and insatiable desire for lukewarm milk. No clue why people are so fond of the little buggers. I guess we'll just see how I feel when this thing finally decides to pop out and say hello to the world.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePickles \u0026amp; Ice Cream Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Dill Pickle, Vanilla\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478884258038,"sku":"BAB-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_SMALL_SQUARE-09.jpg?v=1730421625"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-mom-brain","title":"A Candle for Mom Brain","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePhone in the fridge again.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eI used to have functioning brain cells, but that no-good husband of mine screwed me over and now I have feral children instead. If I have to hear, \"Mom, he's hitting me\" and, \"Call 911!\" one more time, I swear to the Grey Goose god... Speaking of which, have you seen my double martini? And the baby? They were both in the oven last time I checked.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSoggy Cheerios Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Milk, Honey Almond, Oatmeal Milk \u0026amp; Honey\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478886387958,"sku":"MOM-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-12.jpg?v=1770310699"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-big-families","title":"A Candle for Big Families","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eMaybe one day\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'd never yelled the word \"motherf*ck!\" in front of small children until that day I stepped on my first Lego from hell. Sorry, kiddos, but that was simply unavoidable. And that's the day my baby-sitting career ended. Too bad. I hear the hourly rates are now sky-high. Probably pays more than my current career as a serial philanderer, gosh darn it. Just think, I could be eating frozen pizza rolls right out of the bag in someone else's tricked-out kitchen right now if only I'd played my cards right.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCookies \u0026amp; Play-Doh Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Playdoh, Sugar Cookie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478889140470,"sku":"BIG-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_SMALL_SQUARE-11.jpg?v=1730421671"},{"product_id":"soap-for-cool-dads","title":"Soap for Cool Dads","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYeah, you know who you are.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou're never going to be your father, no way. That guy was so uptight, and seemed a million years old. You're more the type who \"connects\" with his kids, can \"drop in\" at the skate park, and shops at the same clothing stores as they do. You're simply the envy of parent pick-up. And yes. You're probably in a band.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCustom Oil Blend Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Patchouli, Mahogany \u0026amp; Rockrose\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44139007344886,"sku":"COO-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-07.jpg?v=1770752742"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-favorite-child","title":"Soap for the Favorite Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI'm not one to brag.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eAnd that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBetter Clothes Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: April Clean, Sage Leaf\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44139028840694,"sku":"FAC-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-12.jpg?v=1770858600"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-crazy-bitches","title":"A Candle for Crazy Bitches","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"below\" id=\"product-description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv itemprop=\"description\" class=\"rte\" id=\"full_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eDon't make me take my hoops out.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm literally on the verge of smacking that cheap face off your head. If you don't come with me right now to the club and down 14 shots of \u003cmeta charset=\"UTF-8\"\u003e \u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eJäger\u003c\/span\u003e with me, I'm telling everyone about that night you spent passed out, face-down on the pavement outside the Sheetz drive-thru window, plain cheeseburger in hand.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSalty Melons Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cantaloupe, Sweet Orange Chili Pepper\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44147869155574,"sku":"BIT-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-33.jpg?v=1770221069"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-cool-dads","title":"A Candle for Cool Dads","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product-description\" class=\"below\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv itemprop=\"description\" id=\"full_description\" class=\"rte\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYeah, you know who you are.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eYou're never going to be your father, no way. That guy was so uptight, and seemed a million years old. You're more the type who \"connects\" with his kids, can \"drop in\" at the skate park, and shops at the same clothing stores as they do. You're simply the envy of parent pick-up. And yes. You're probably in a band.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCustom Oil Blend Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Patchouli, Mahogany \u0026amp; Rockrose\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44147935641846,"sku":"COO-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-23.jpg?v=1770220730"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-favorite-child","title":"A Candle for the Favorite Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product-description\" class=\"below\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"full_description\" class=\"rte\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI'm not one to brag.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eAnd that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBetter Clothes Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: April Clean, Sage Leaf\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44147940524278,"sku":"FAC-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-24.jpg?v=1770740614"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-big-sisters","title":"Soap for Big Sisters","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like good advice \u0026amp; unwavering support\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBossy Bouquet Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Basil, Fresh Strawberry\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645606134,"sku":"BSI-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-18.jpg?v=1770749584"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-little-sisters","title":"Soap for Little Sisters","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like naïveté and eternal cuteness\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eLight up your life with A Candle for Little Sisters! This unassuming flame packs a powerful punch of olfactory awesomeness: fruity, floral, and slightly combustible. The perfect gift for your lovable little train wreck of a sibling, it'll help keep even the near-disasters from spiraling totally out of control. (Just don't tell them it's a \"gift\"...we don't need *another* disaster!)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLollipop Kid Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Yummy Gummy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645901046,"sku":"LSI-S","price":6.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-01.jpg?v=1770766225"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-big-sisters","title":"A Candle for Big Sisters","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like good advice \u0026amp; unwavering support\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLight up your big sister's life with A Candle for Big Sisters! This hand-crafted candle is designed to soothe the soul of any know-it-all with a hint of bossiness. Perfect for gifting (or just to remind her she’s loved!), this one's sure to brighten her day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBossy Bouquet Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Basil, Fresh Strawberry\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815646359798,"sku":"BSI-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-16.jpg?v=1770219508"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-little-sisters","title":"A Candle for Little Sisters","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like naïveté and eternal cuteness\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLight up your life with A Candle for Little Sisters! This unassuming flame packs a powerful punch of olfactory awesomeness: fruity, floral, and slightly combustible. The perfect gift for your lovable little train wreck of a sibling, it'll help keep even the near-disasters from spiraling totally out of control. (Just don't tell them it's a \"gift\"...we don't need *another* disaster!)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLollipop Kid Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Yummy Gummy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815646621942,"sku":"LSI-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-26.jpg?v=1770229234"},{"product_id":"brother-greeting-card","title":"Brother Greeting Card","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eWe all love greeting cards, right?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eAnd eating straight out of the trash can, George Costanza-style? No, just me? Alright, whatever. At least I don't meet guys in the woods behind the old folk's home. Yet. Thinking of you!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815651045622,"sku":"ST-BROTHER","price":2.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_GREETINGCARDS_WOOD_SMALLSQUARE_ST-BROTHER.jpg?v=1772471542"},{"product_id":"the-favorite-child-air-freshener","title":"The Favorite Child Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI'm not one to brag.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eAnd that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBetter Clothes Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815652946166,"sku":"FAC-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEWDUOAF_SMALLSQUARE-05.jpg?v=1770149707"},{"product_id":"mom-brain-air-freshener","title":"Mom Brain Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ePhone in the fridge again.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI used to have functioning brain cells, but that no-good husband of mine screwed me over and now I have feral children instead. If I have to hear, \"Mom, he's hitting me\" and, \"Call 911!\" one more time, I swear to the Grey Goose god... Speaking of which, have you seen my double martini? And the baby? They were both in the oven last time I checked.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSoggy Cheerios Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815653208310,"sku":"MOM-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOAF_2025_SQUARE-01.jpg?v=1737599554"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-cool-aunt","title":"Pencils for The Cool Aunt","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eHoney, hand me that bottle?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eYour auntie needs another top-off. It's been a \u003cem\u003eweek\u003c\/em\u003e, I tell ya. My work load is \u003cem\u003eintense\u003c\/em\u003e and my dating life is an absolute \u003cem\u003etrain wreck\u003c\/em\u003e\u003ci\u003e.\u003c\/i\u003e Honestly, coming over to see my favorite niece and nephew is giving me \u003cem\u003elife\u003c\/em\u003e right now. I don't know why your mom complains so much, you two are absolute angels. You know, she wasn't \u003cem\u003ealways\u003c\/em\u003e this strict. You should've \u003cem\u003eseen\u003c\/em\u003e her in high school, oh my lord, she used to...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWas There More Wine Left?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour Mother Was Really Wild in High School\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLet Me Tell You About Your Dad\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLet's Do a Makeover!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWine Goes Bad. You Have to Drink it All.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour Grandma Used to be A Real \"B\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePour Your Aunt Another Glass, Dear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAuntie Needs Her Health Gummies\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815670542582,"sku":"AUN-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_AUN-P.jpg?v=1771267296"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-dad-jokes","title":"Pencils for Dad Jokes","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSo funny I forgot to laugh\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eWhere in the heck are you and the other dads getting these so-called “jokes” from anyway, Corny Dads Quarterly? I mean, come on now… Does every conversation need a fart reference? Are you all a hive mind? I’m kidding, Dad. I totally respect the dad comedy. You’ve always said that money doesn’t grow on trees, but maybe dad jokes do!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePull My Finger\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThat's How They Get You\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm Just Resting My Eyes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBoom, You're a Sandwich\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eNo, Your Other Right\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eDon't Tell Your Mom\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWorkin' Hard or Hardly Workin'?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHi Hungry, I'm Dad\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861903765750,"sku":"DAD-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_DAD-P.jpg?v=1771260887"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-midlife-crisis","title":"Pencils for Midlife Crisis","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho Says Existential Dread Can't Be Fun?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCongratulations, you’ve made it to middle age! All those years of being “financially responsible” means you can finally buy a motorcycle and the bitchin’ leather jacket to match. Or maybe a year-long silent meditation retreat is more your speed. Either way, you’ve earned it, after all. At least that’s what you’re going to tell yourself on the way to surf camp.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI Should Go Back to School\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSigned Up for Banjo Lessons!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWhat Do You Think of Botox?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eA Tattoo Sleeve Would Give Me an Edge\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOff to Improv Camp!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eMy Other Pencil is a Motorcycle\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm So Punk With My Pink Hair\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBought a Food Truck!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861912416502,"sku":"MIC-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_MIC-P.jpg?v=1771265027"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiskeyriversoap.com\/collections\/gifts-for-the-family-you-actually-like-and-or-tolerate.oembed","provider":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}