{"title":"GIFTS FOR YOURSELF (CUZ WHY NOT?)","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"soap-for-shit-shows","title":"Soap for Shit Shows","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWelcome to the shit show.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eIt's poorly-produced, but what would you expect? It only took us six shots of Fireball to get here. Tonight, I mean. The shit show of my life needs no lubricant. All I have to to is roll out of bed, avoid the mirror and slink off to my day job to count the hours until it's happy hour again. And look, it's almost noon already! See you at the bar.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFireball Shots Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Hot Cinnamon\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":30390471369,"sku":"SHI-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-07.jpg?v=1770831150"},{"product_id":"soap-for-its-fine","title":"Soap for It's Fine","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eNo, really. It's fine.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eI'm totally not going to write anything for this soap. It's fine. I'm sure you're fine with that. Totally fine. I mean, you only offered me a glass of lukewarm tap water when I came to your party. So it's fine. Not payback or anything. I'm fine.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePlain Tap Water Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Ocean Mist\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":5385292316701,"sku":"ITF-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-14.jpg?v=1770763322"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-its-fine","title":"A Candle for It's Fine","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eNo, really. It's fine.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'm totally not going to write anything for this soap. It's fine. I'm sure you're fine with that. Totally fine. I mean, you only offered me a glass of lukewarm tap water when I came to your party. So it's fine. Not payback or anything. I'm fine.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePlain Tap Water Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Ocean Mist\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":12578406465613,"sku":"ITF-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-13.jpg?v=1770228279"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fuck-this","title":"Fuck This Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like I'm over it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAmaretto Sour Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cherry, Cherry Almond\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21094958825549,"sku":"WT1-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT1-C.jpg?v=1771629185"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-what-the-actual-fuck","title":"What The Actual Fuck Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like an existential crisis\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCucumber-Aloe Daiquiri Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Aloe \u0026amp; Cucumber\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21095111753805,"sku":"WT4-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT4-C.jpg?v=1771630727"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fuck-yeah","title":"Fuck Yeah Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like a celebratory drink\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBlueberry Bourbon Fizz Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Blueberry, Mt. Dew\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21095132201037,"sku":"WT5-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT5-C.jpg?v=1771629510"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-salty-bitches","title":"A Candle for Salty As Fuck","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eI like my beaches salty\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSalty Dog Cocktail Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Grapefruit Mango\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21095137116237,"sku":"WT6-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SQUARE-5.jpg?v=1771624570"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-truth-old","title":"Pencils for Truth","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI'm A Fake Vegan.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eHey, wouldn’t it be nice if people just told the truth every once in a while? I mean, nobody wants to hear that Susan thinks your baby is weird looking, but does she have to go on and on about how ADORABLE he is, only to snicker with the entire Human Resources department behind your back? Susan, Susan, Susan. Just wait til you have a baby.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Secretly Eat Bacon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Don't Really Love Your Shoes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI'm Never Truly Sober\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Farted at Yoga\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Thought Planking Was a Fish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Spellcheck my Sexts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI've Worn the Same Pants All Week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour Baby is Ugly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28399619571789,"sku":"TRU-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-17_e830140a-20bf-474a-8d18-0511dc18b6a6.jpg?v=1771268280"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-zero-fucks-1","title":"Pencils for Zero Fucks","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eNo Fucks.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWe hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us really liked it when you were just a simple, caring, average Joe. So kudos to you! Even though you couldn't give a F. We know. Fresh out.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28399661973581,"sku":"ZER-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-03_75688f27-f1d3-4ebf-95cb-4661542ffcd3.jpg?v=1771268714"},{"product_id":"soap-for-calm-the-f-down","title":"Soap for Calm the F Down","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eCalm down.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSo what if the world is going to hell in a hand basket? It’s like, yoga time. Meditation hour starts now. So pop in those AirPods, crank up the sounds of the rainforest, and reeelaaaax. The Zoom rager starts in two hours and I expect you keg-stand ready!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRain Stick Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cool Clear Water, Ginger Ale\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927805866061,"sku":"CAL-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-07.jpg?v=1770751926"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-calm-the-f-down","title":"A Candle for Calm the F Down","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eCalm down.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSo what if the world is going to hell in a hand basket? It’s like, yoga time. Meditation hour starts now. So pop in those AirPods, crank up the sounds of the rainforest, and reeelaaaax. The Zoom rager starts in two hours and I expect you keg-stand ready!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eRain Stick Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cool Clear Water, Ginger Ale\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208846417997,"sku":"CAL-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-21.jpg?v=1770220157"},{"product_id":"shit-show-colored-pencils","title":"SHIT SHOW COLORED PENCILS","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePencils for a Colorful Life\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWho doesn’t love colored pencils? Turn that gray world Technicolor with our new Shit Show Colored Pencil Set.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBrownie Stash Green\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDrug Test Fear Yellow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eOverzealous Spray Tan Orange\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLipstick Smears Red\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eWine Teeth Purple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSend Nudes Pink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eEmpty Bottle Blues\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBad Tattoos Black\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927832244301,"sku":"SHI-P","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_COLOREDPENCILS_BROWNHAND_SMALLSQUARE_SHI-P.jpg?v=1771269996"},{"product_id":"aw-hell-no-paint-can-dle","title":"Aw Hell No Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eWhat the hell, y'all?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Fig, Tobacco \u0026amp; Leather\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208884985933,"sku":"PAI-2","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-2.jpg?v=1771607340"},{"product_id":"fuck-it-vintage-paint-can-dle","title":"Fuck It Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI'm done.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBergamot, Tobacco, and Yuzu Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Yuzu, Bergamot Tobacco Archipelago\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208886657101,"sku":"PAI-1","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-1.jpg?v=1771608046"},{"product_id":"party-for-one-emergency-ambiance-travel-tin","title":"Party For One Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eNetflix \u0026amp; Champagne Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Champagne Pear, Ginger Ale\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927880872013,"sku":"PAR-T","price":7.25,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.6.23_SMALLSQUARE-11.jpg?v=1771519058"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-days-of-the-week-old","title":"Pencils for Days of the Week","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWow, What a Concept.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo longer do you have an excuse not to use a fresh pencil each and every day! Plus, we’ve even included (at no extra cost) a handy Blursday pencil for those days when you can’t be bothered to figure out what day it actually is. And honestly, if you’re buying these pencils, that’s probably gonna be pretty often.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCancel Mondays\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's Only Frickin' Tuesday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHumpday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThirsty Thursday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's Friday!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSaturday Vibes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSunday Scaries\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eFeels Like Blursday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363943497805,"sku":"DAY-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-06_4f11fce6-f4fa-47ca-bfa6-1db321add7cd.jpg?v=1771261119"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-happy-hour-old","title":"Pencils for Happy Hour","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePour Me Another, Please.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAhhh, it’s finally that magical time of the day again: when you can put all your office woes aside and crack open a cold one. Or twelve. Here’s to another chance to find the answers to life’s questions at the bottom of a bottle. So what if it’s only 10 AM, who says happy hour has to start at five, anyway? Just don’t tell Brent from HR, okay?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eA Guy Walks into a Bar\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eEmergency Stir Stick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePowered by: Vodka\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eDon't Talk to Me Before My First Drink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAlso Available Sober!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI See Drunk People\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's 10 AM Somewhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBeer Me\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363958177869,"sku":"HAP-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_ORIGINALPENCILS_10.12.23_SMALLSQUARE-4.jpg?v=1771263697"},{"product_id":"calm-the-f-down-air-freshener","title":"Calm the F Down Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRain Stick Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364036460621,"sku":"CAL-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-09.jpg?v=1730422528"},{"product_id":"zero-fucks-air-freshener","title":"Zero Fucks Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCreamsicle Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364040982605,"sku":"ZER-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEWDUOAF_SMALLSQUARE-14.jpg?v=1770149017"},{"product_id":"its-fine-air-freshener","title":"It's Fine Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ePlain Tap Water Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364043243597,"sku":"ITF-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-10.jpg?v=1730423102"},{"product_id":"namaste-air-freshener-new","title":"Namaste Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCalming Lavender Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364043702349,"sku":"NAM-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-17.jpg?v=1770136347"},{"product_id":"shit-shows-air-freshener","title":"Shit Shows Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eFireball Shots Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364044750925,"sku":"SHI-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-20.jpg?v=1730423871"},{"product_id":"stick-it-prank-stickers","title":"Stick It! Prank Stickers","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e60 Tricky Stickers\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHey, check it out! This new iPhone contains “real raisins”! Yeah, we know these stickers are \u003ci\u003esilly\u003c\/i\u003e. But so are we! And so are the crazy marketing claims that scream at us from every direction, every single day of our lives. Believe me, your Great Aunt Phyllis is going to love finding out that her pudding cups were manufactured by leprechauns.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39372070158413,"sku":"PS-A","price":5.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_STICKERPACKS_ORANGEFABRIC_SMALLSQUARE_PS-A.jpg?v=1772471028"},{"product_id":"its-only-frickin-tuesday-air-freshener","title":"It's Only Frickin' Tuesday Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eUggggggh...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHow is it only TUESDAY? It’s been a full year since the work week started. I swear I can feel each individual cell in my body slowly dying to the beat of that annoying wall clock. And Glen in the next cubicle. Ghod. If he doesn’t stop loudly smacking his gum and clicking his pen like some kind of deranged one-man band hoping for a record deal that will never happen, I’m going to write a scathing anonymous note about gum chewing and post it on the bulletin board with all my other scathing anonymous notes.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eMint Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478714028278,"sku":"FRI-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-18.jpg?v=1730423129"},{"product_id":"fuck-this-wtf-air-freshener","title":"Fuck This WTF Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSmells like I'm over it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAmaretto Sour Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478726316278,"sku":"WT1-F","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-45.jpg?v=1770152619"},{"product_id":"what-the-actual-fuck-wtf-air-freshener","title":"What the Actual Fuck WTF Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSmells like an existential crisis\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eCucumber-Aloe Daiquiri Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478736277750,"sku":"WT4-F","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-42.jpg?v=1770154183"},{"product_id":"fuck-yeah-wtf-air-freshener","title":"Fuck Yeah WTF Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSmells like a celebratory drink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBlueberry Bourbon Fizz Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478738866422,"sku":"WT5-F","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-43.jpg?v=1770152769"},{"product_id":"soap-for-alone-time","title":"Soap for Alone Time","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like a good book and a cup of hot tea\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBoy, are you terrible at taking hints. When I started responding to all your inane questions with random non-sequiturs, you didn't flinch. When I quit looking you in the eye, nada. And when I screamed \"leave me the F alone!\" at the top of my lungs, you fled the room but went on a texting spree. And that's why I hopped on a bus to Alaska and ditched my phone for soup cans.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLeave Me Alone Tea Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Chai Tea, Newsprint\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478829011190,"sku":"ALO-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-02.jpg?v=1770748049"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-alone-time","title":"A Candle for Alone Time","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like a good book and a cup of hot tea\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBoy, are you terrible at taking hints. When I started responding to all your inane questions with random non-sequiturs, you didn't flinch. When I quit looking you in the eye, nada. And when I screamed \"leave me the F alone!\" at the top of my lungs, you fled the room but went on a texting spree. And that's why I hopped on a bus to Alaska and ditched my phone for soup cans.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLeave Me Alone Tea Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Chai Tea, Newsprint\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478877835510,"sku":"ALO-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-09.jpg?v=1770166358"},{"product_id":"soap-for-what-the-fucking-fuck","title":"Soap for What The Fucking Fuck","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eHow do I put this?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAnd how many different ways can I say it before I know you're truly picking up what I'm laying down? What. The. Fucking. Fuck? And I'm not talking about corrupt governments and the fact that life is just a hologram. I'm talking about those ballet flats you keep trying to make happen. It's not gonna happen, okay? And toss those wide-leg jeans while you're at it. You look like a damned clown.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePrickly Pear Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Bamboo Hemp, Watercress \u0026amp; Aloe\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44138946134262,"sku":"WTF-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-11.jpg?v=1770854691"},{"product_id":"calm-retro-stripe","title":"Calm Retro Stripe","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\" data-mce-style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCALM\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\" data-mce-style=\"font-size: 20px;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\"\u003eTHE FUCK DOWN, OKAY?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSmells like meditation \u0026amp; a Xanax  \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXan Garden Scented\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNotes of basil and bamboo\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cem\u003eNet Weight: 8 oz.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eHand-poured 100% soy wax candle\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eBurn time: approx. 40 hours\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eNote: Because all of our candles are handmade, no two are identical.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003e© 2021 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44148024312054,"sku":"RS-CAL","price":16.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_RETROSTRIPE_SMALLSQUARE-2.jpg?v=1771521210"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-i-dont-know-shit","title":"I Don't Know Shit Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAbout fuck.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTropical IPA Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Oatmeal Milk \u0026amp; Honey, Grapefruit Mango\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645081846,"sku":"WT9-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT9-C.jpg?v=1771629747"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fuuuuuck","title":"Fuuuuuck Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like damn, dude\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLime Mojito Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Lime, Mojito\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815653863670,"sku":"WT8-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT8-C.jpg?v=1771629655"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-days-of-the-week","title":"Pencils for Days of the Week","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWow, What a Concept.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNo longer do you have an excuse not to use a fresh pencil each and every day! Plus, we’ve even included (at no extra cost) a handy Blursday pencil for those days when you can’t be bothered to figure out what day it actually is. And honestly, if you’re buying these pencils, that’s probably gonna be pretty often.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCancel Mondays\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's Only Frickin' Tuesday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eHumpday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThirsty Thursday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's Friday!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSaturday Vibes\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSunday Scaries\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eFeels Like Blursday\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861904355574,"sku":"DAY-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_DAY-P.jpg?v=1771261328"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-happy-hour","title":"Pencils for Happy Hour","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003ePour Me Another, Please.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAhhh, it’s finally that magical time of the day again: when you can put all your office woes aside and crack open a cold one. Or twelve. Here’s to another chance to find the answers to life’s questions at the bottom of a bottle. So what if it’s only 10 AM, who says happy hour has to start at five, anyway? Just don’t tell Brent from HR, okay?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eA Guy Walks into a Bar\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eEmergency Stir Stick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePowered by: Vodka\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eDon't Talk to Me Before My First Drink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAlso Available Sober!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI See Drunk People\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eIt's 10 AM Somewhere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBeer Me\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861907402998,"sku":"HAP-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_HAP-P.jpg?v=1771263839"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-truth","title":"Pencils for Truth","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI'm A Fake Vegan.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eHey, wouldn’t it be nice if people just told the truth every once in a while? I mean, nobody wants to hear that Susan thinks your baby is weird looking, but does she have to go on and on about how ADORABLE he is, only to snicker with the entire Human Resources department behind your back? Susan, Susan, Susan. Just wait til you have a baby.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Secretly Eat Bacon\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Don't Really Love Your Shoes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI'm Never Truly Sober\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Farted at Yoga\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Thought Planking Was a Fish\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI Spellcheck my Sexts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eI've Worn the Same Pants All Week\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour Baby is Ugly\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861924016374,"sku":"TRU-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_TRU-P.jpg?v=1771268411"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-zero-fucks-old","title":"Pencils for Zero Fucks","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eNo Fucks.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWe hear you. You're so over it you can't even. This newly-concocted bad attitude is just what the doctor ordered! Plus, none of us really liked it when you were just a simple, caring, average Joe. So kudos to you! Even though you couldn't give a F. We know. Fresh out.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSo Fucking What?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861924475126,"sku":"ZER-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_ZER-P.jpg?v=1771268857"},{"product_id":"shit-show-boxed-bar-soap","title":"Shit Show Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eClean up your life in the most literal way with Shit Show Triple-Milled Boxed Bar Soap—from the disarray of your life to the organized lather of your dreams. Wash away the chaos and step into a world of control and clarity.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172877852918,"sku":"S-SHIT","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPBOXES_HANDWALLPAPER_SMALLSQUARE_S-SHIT.jpg?v=1771444907"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-animal-lovers","title":"A Candle for Animal Lovers","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells you grew up in a barn\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eFarm Fresh Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172879360246,"sku":"ANI-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-08.jpg?v=1770218134"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-99-problems","title":"A Candle for 99 Problems","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like a candle ain't one\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou can think of 99 Problems just from this morning. Your car is a POS. Your job sucks. Your ex is ruining your life. We can't say this candle will solve any of your problems but at least your apartment won't smell like ass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSantal 99 Scented\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172879720694,"sku":"99P-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_TEAL_SMALL_SQUARE-12.jpg?v=1723748298"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fucking-shit-up","title":"A Candle for Fucking Shit Up","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like my profession\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eRum Punch Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Orange, Pineapple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775968076022,"sku":"WT12-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SQUARE-4.jpg?v=1771624066"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-bitch-please","title":"A Candle for Bitch, Please","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like step off\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eRusty Nail Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Lemon, Lime, Basil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775968108790,"sku":"WT13-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SQUARE-1.jpg?v=1771611634"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-positive-vibes","title":"Soap for Positive Vibes","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like feeling joy and smiling like a loon\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eRay of Sunshine Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Lemon, Vanilla\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775968796918,"sku":"POV-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SQUARE-09_f2c44895-d1ce-4a8f-9871-291825d6e6bc.jpg?v=1770828717"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-more-cowbell","title":"A Candle for More Cowbell","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like giving it all you've got\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eChristopher Walken Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Wood\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969059062,"sku":"MCO-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_DUOCANDLES_BLUE_SQUARE-08.jpg?v=1770311055"},{"product_id":"always-late-air-freshener","title":"Always Late Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAbsent Amber Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eStart your day with an Always Late air freshener and you'll be ready to rock and roll in no time! Our powerful blend of late and don't want to come will have you out the door quick as a wink, plus you'll be oh so fragrant! Let us be your trusty sidekick on those days when you just don't wanna.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969190134,"sku":"ALW-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-17.jpg?v=1730422145"},{"product_id":"animal-lovers-air-freshener","title":"Animal Lovers Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFarm Fresh Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969222902,"sku":"ANI-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-12.jpg?v=1730422174"},{"product_id":"thoughts-and-prayers-air-freshener","title":"Thoughts and Prayers Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eFloral Insincerity Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969386742,"sku":"THO-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-16.jpg?v=1730424412"},{"product_id":"99-problems-air-freshener","title":"99 Problems Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSantal 99 Scented\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eYou can think of 99 Problems just from this morning. Your car is a POS. Your job sucks. Your ex is ruining your life. We can't say this air freshener will solve any of your problems but at least you won't have an unwashed ass.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969419510,"sku":"99P-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-11.jpg?v=1730421519"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-fuck-this","title":"Soap for Fuck This.","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like I'm over it\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eAmaretto Sour Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cherry, Almond\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969452278,"sku":"WT1-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_WTFSOAPS_DARKBLUE_SQUARE-01.jpg?v=1770924335"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-what-the-actual-fuck","title":"Soap for What The Actual Fuck?","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like an existential crisis\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCucumber Aloe Daiquiri Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Cucumber\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45775969517814,"sku":"WT4-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_WTFSOAPS_DARKBLUE_SQUARE-02.jpg?v=1770925507"}],"url":"https:\/\/www.whiskeyriversoap.com\/collections\/gifts-for-yourself-cuz-why-not.oembed?page=5","provider":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}