{"title":"GIFTS FOR TEACHERS AND GRADUATES","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"soap-for-hoarders-1","title":"Soap for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho are you again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePurple Haze Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Muscadine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":9895513669,"sku":"MID-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-17.jpg?v=1770853381"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-middle-child","title":"A Candle for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product-description\" class=\"below\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"full_description\" class=\"rte\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho are you again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePurple Haze Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Muscadine\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208927748173,"sku":"MID-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-14.jpg?v=1770741363"},{"product_id":"soap-for-grammar-police","title":"Soap for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells annoying.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eJust wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you're, thanks to Facebook trolls. True, it was something the rest of us learned in first grade, but what the hell. Welcome to the club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about everyone else's grammatical errors. Trust me, you're still making some.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJelly Doughnut Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Raspberry, Sugar Cookie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31768549449,"sku":"GRA-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_YELLOW_SMALLSQUARE-09.jpg?v=1770760538"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-grammar-police","title":"A Candle for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells annoying.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eJust wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you're, thanks to Facebook trolls. True, it was something the rest of us learned in first grade, but what the hell. Welcome to the club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about everyone else's grammatical errors. Trust me, you're still making some.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eJelly Doughnut Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Raspberry, Sugar Cookie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208906481741,"sku":"GRA-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-35.jpg?v=1770224649"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-first-child","title":"Soap for The First Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYou just had to have your own soap.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eWell, it’s only natural that you should get a candle. You were first, right? The eldest. The most important. But you’re also the family guinea pig, the one who is always the most responsible, and the one who must succeed at all costs. No pressure there, right?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBrand-New Everything Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Wintergreen\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029029609549,"sku":"FIC-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-15.jpg?v=1770853066"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-first-child","title":"A Candle for The First Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYou just had to have your own soap.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eWell, it’s only natural that you should get a candle. You were first, right? The eldest. The most important. But you’re also the family guinea pig, the one who is always the most responsible, and the one who must succeed at all costs. No pressure there, right?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBrand-New Everything Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Wintergreen\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208927256653,"sku":"FIC-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.3.23_SMALLSQUARE-22.jpg?v=1770740763"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-grammar-police-old","title":"Pencils for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYour Annoying\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAhahaha. It’s so easy to get under your skin. Just wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you’re. Welcome to the grammar club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about other people’s grammatical errors. Trust me on this point, you're still making some.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eYou Lost Me at \"Your Beautiful\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e*You're\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThey're Going There, to Their House, OK?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSilently Correcting Your Grammar\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePunctuation Saves Lives\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTo Serve and Correct\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOxford Comma til I Die\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOfficial Grammar Police Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029479972941,"sku":"GRA-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-14_1f43b218-231b-4263-a8ac-f44b179d7155.jpg?v=1771263246"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-teachers-old","title":"Pencils for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt's a Snow Day Somewhere...\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eIDK, \u003cem\u003eCan\u003c\/em\u003e You Go to The Bathroom?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Just Realized I Don't Even Like Kids\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eOh Yeah? Pop Quiz, Suckas\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Have PTSD from Grading Papers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDon't You Dare Say \"Wikipedia\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eThankless Tasks Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eCountdown to Summer Break\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDinner... Or Classroom Supplies?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029530271821,"sku":"TEA-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-19_d6d3da6b-89df-4b32-8421-979612173a42.jpg?v=1771266816"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-middle-child-old","title":"Pencils for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho Are You, Again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWho Are You Again?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatches the Hair Color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou Never Did Like Attention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBut You're Good with Rejection!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOnline College Will Be Fine for You\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand-Me-Down Pencil\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEternally Overlooked\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNobody Will Read This\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029531484237,"sku":"MID-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-11_e550741b-902d-45fa-b6cc-1ea8890527e3.jpg?v=1771267614"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-writers-block-old","title":"Pencils for Writer's Block","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eTired of Feeling Like a Bone-Dry Hack?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSo the wordsmith’s well has run dry? Try this pack of Writer’s Block pencils. If these pencils don’t help you churn out regurgitated ideas and probably a vampire, I’ll eat my hat. It’s a fedora, by the way. Cool vampires wear fedoras now. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it. Or in your book. Either way, you’re gonna need these pencils ASAP. Even crap won’t write itself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eAdd a Vampire\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eRegurgitated Ideas Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eTry Vodka\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eKill Your Characters\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLightly Plagiarize\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eInsert Coffee IV\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003ePotential Murder Weapon?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eHit Head Repeatedly With a Hammer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21029538529357,"sku":"WRI-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_OGP_9.3.23_WEB-15_99465f79-e42d-4b77-a0e5-559d496b9430.jpg?v=1771268506"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fuck-yeah","title":"Fuck Yeah Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like a celebratory drink\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBlueberry Bourbon Fizz Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Blueberry, Mt. Dew\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":21095132201037,"sku":"WT5-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT5-C.jpg?v=1771629510"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-procrastinators-old","title":"Pencils for Procrastinators","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eTwo Weeks.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eGo ahead, ask me anything. Invariably, the answer will be “two weeks.” Wondering when I’ll get my grades up? Two weeks. Get my grades up and start working out? Two weeks. Get my grades up, start working out, call my dad, visit my Nana in Florida, get married, buy a house, file for divorce, start my own business and run for office? Two weeks, pal. Two. Weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Always Work Better When it's Next Week\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eMindless Doodling Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Have to Finish This Netflix Series First\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'll Sharpen This Later\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eProcrastinating is Also An Achievement\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'll Find a Use for This Pencil Tomorrow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLast-Second Crunch Time Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'll Study After I Clean\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28399627436109,"sku":"PRO-OGP","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_ORIGINALPENCILS_10.12.23_SMALLSQUARE-5.jpg?v=1771266305"},{"product_id":"soap-for-teachers","title":"Soap for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt's a snow day somewhere...\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePoisoned Apple Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Delicious Apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":28399832105037,"sku":"TEA-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-11.jpg?v=1770832295"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-teachers","title":"A Candle for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt's a snow day somewhere...\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePoisoned Apple Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Red Delicious Apple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208925519949,"sku":"TEA-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-36.jpg?v=1770314486"},{"product_id":"copy-of-old-school-matchbooks-variety-pack-last-meal","title":"Old School Matchbooks Variety Pack: Last Meal","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003cspan style=\"font-size: 20px;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLIGHT 'EM UP.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\nYeah, matches are USEFUL. And we know everyone likes lighting shit on fire occasionally... no? Just me and my student loan paperwork? Oh, ok. Anyway, throw a matchbook in with that candle you're gifting! Leave it as the tip for your server! We know they'll be just as surprised as you once they read what businesses are selling these days.\u003cem\u003e\u003cem\u003e Yikes!\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cem\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cb\u003eOld School Matchbooks Pack: Last Meal\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncludes 4 matchbooks: Your Last Meal, Teacher's Lounge, Daddy's Money, and New York Strip.\u003cbr\u003eNote: Matchbook colors may vary.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e© 2024 Whiskey River Soap Co.\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31866263666765,"sku":"VP3-M","price":6.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_MATCHES_SMALLSQUARE-13_79728260-e9e6-4354-b7bf-d71919d62a18.jpg?v=1772819360"},{"product_id":"fuck-it-vintage-paint-can-dle","title":"Fuck It Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI'm done.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eBergamot, Tobacco, and Yuzu Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Yuzu, Bergamot Tobacco Archipelago\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":33208886657101,"sku":"PAI-1","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-1.jpg?v=1771608046"},{"product_id":"because-children-emergency-ambiance-travel-tin","title":"Because Children Emergency Ambiance Travel Tin","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eWine Popsicles Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Cucumber Mint, Merlot\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32927866159181,"sku":"BEC-T","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_10.6.23_SMALLSQUARE-10.jpg?v=1771515936"},{"product_id":"whoop-ass-vintage-paint-can-dle","title":"Whoop Ass Vintage Paint Can·dle","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eOpen if you dare.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" mce-data-marked=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eSucker Punch Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eFragrance: Lemon, Coconut\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39363990978637,"sku":"PAI-8","price":26.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PAINTCANS_DINERVINYL_SMALLSQUARE_PAI-8.jpg?v=1771609037"},{"product_id":"teachers-air-freshener","title":"Teachers Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003ePoisoned Apple Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364040163405,"sku":"TEA-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_PHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALL_SQUARE-14.jpg?v=1723580142"},{"product_id":"middle-child-air-freshener","title":"Middle Child Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eCrazy Grape Scented.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":39364043538509,"sku":"MID-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEW_DUO_AF_SMALL_SQUARE-07.jpg?v=1730423215"},{"product_id":"fuck-yeah-wtf-air-freshener","title":"Fuck Yeah WTF Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eSmells like a celebratory drink\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eKnow what stinks? Not you! Now that you have your very own candle air freshener to haul around with you, people will quit pinching their noses and running for the hills. Hopefully. You still have to occasionally bathe, you know.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBlueberry Bourbon Fizz Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478738866422,"sku":"WT5-F","price":7.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIREPHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALLSQUARE-43.jpg?v=1770152769"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-big-families","title":"A Candle for Big Families","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eMaybe one day\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eI'd never yelled the word \"motherf*ck!\" in front of small children until that day I stepped on my first Lego from hell. Sorry, kiddos, but that was simply unavoidable. And that's the day my baby-sitting career ended. Too bad. I hear the hourly rates are now sky-high. Probably pays more than my current career as a serial philanderer, gosh darn it. Just think, I could be eating frozen pizza rolls right out of the bag in someone else's tricked-out kitchen right now if only I'd played my cards right.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eCookies \u0026amp; Play-Doh Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Playdoh, Sugar Cookie\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":42478889140470,"sku":"BIG-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_SMALL_SQUARE-11.jpg?v=1730421671"},{"product_id":"soap-for-the-favorite-child","title":"Soap for the Favorite Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI'm not one to brag.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eAnd that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBetter Clothes Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: April Clean, Sage Leaf\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44139028840694,"sku":"FAC-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_PURPLE_SMALLSQUARE_-12.jpg?v=1770858600"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-the-favorite-child","title":"A Candle for the Favorite Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product-description\" class=\"below\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"full_description\" class=\"rte\" itemprop=\"description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eI'm not one to brag.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eAnd that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBetter Clothes Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: April Clean, Sage Leaf\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44147940524278,"sku":"FAC-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-24.jpg?v=1770740614"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-i-dont-know-shit","title":"I Don't Know Shit Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAbout fuck.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTropical IPA Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Oatmeal Milk \u0026amp; Honey, Grapefruit Mango\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645081846,"sku":"WT9-C","price":20.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT9-C.jpg?v=1771629747"},{"product_id":"a-real-badass-candle","title":"A Real Badass Candle","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like truth\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eGin Martini Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Gin Martini\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645278454,"sku":"WT10-C","price":20.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_WTFCANDLES_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WT10-C.jpg?v=1771628625"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-big-sisters","title":"Soap for Big Sisters","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like good advice \u0026amp; unwavering support\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBossy Bouquet Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Basil, Fresh Strawberry\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645606134,"sku":"BSI-S","price":12.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAP_BLUE_SMALLSQUARE-18.jpg?v=1770749584"},{"product_id":"a-soap-for-little-sisters","title":"Soap for Little Sisters","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eSmells like naïveté and eternal cuteness\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eLight up your life with A Candle for Little Sisters! This unassuming flame packs a powerful punch of olfactory awesomeness: fruity, floral, and slightly combustible. The perfect gift for your lovable little train wreck of a sibling, it'll help keep even the near-disasters from spiraling totally out of control. (Just don't tell them it's a \"gift\"...we don't need *another* disaster!)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLollipop Kid Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Yummy Gummy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815645901046,"sku":"LSI-S","price":6.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPS_GREEN_SMALLSQUARE_-01.jpg?v=1770766225"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-big-sisters","title":"A Candle for Big Sisters","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like good advice \u0026amp; unwavering support\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eLight up your big sister's life with A Candle for Big Sisters! This hand-crafted candle is designed to soothe the soul of any know-it-all with a hint of bossiness. Perfect for gifting (or just to remind her she’s loved!), this one's sure to brighten her day.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBossy Bouquet Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Fresh Basil, Fresh Strawberry\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815646359798,"sku":"BSI-C","price":27.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-16.jpg?v=1770219508"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-little-sisters","title":"A Candle for Little Sisters","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like naïveté and eternal cuteness\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLight up your life with A Candle for Little Sisters! This unassuming flame packs a powerful punch of olfactory awesomeness: fruity, floral, and slightly combustible. The perfect gift for your lovable little train wreck of a sibling, it'll help keep even the near-disasters from spiraling totally out of control. (Just don't tell them it's a \"gift\"...we don't need *another* disaster!)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLollipop Kid Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Yummy Gummy\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815646621942,"sku":"LSI-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUOCANDLES_TEAL_SMALLSQUARE-26.jpg?v=1770229234"},{"product_id":"the-favorite-child-air-freshener","title":"The Favorite Child Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\" data-mce-style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\" data-mce-style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eI'm not one to brag.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\" face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\" style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eAnd that's just one of the reasons I'm the favorite child. Intelligence, charm, rugged good looks, and modesty. Mom and Dad said they broke the mold when they made me. But I'm not supposed to tell you that. I hear you're pretty fragile. And that's why I'm so nice to you! Honestly, you're so lucky to have me as a sibling.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eBetter Clothes Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815652946166,"sku":"FAC-F","price":7.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_NEWDUOAF_SMALLSQUARE-05.jpg?v=1770149707"},{"product_id":"feeling-good-as-hell-air-freshener","title":"Feeling Good As Hell Air Freshener","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan style=\"color: #000000;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"caret-color: rgb(0, 0, 0);\"\u003eThat's right.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eI do my hair toss, check my nails, baby how you feelin'? Yeah, that song had a moment. But you know what? I'm still feeling good as hell! Might be the booze talking (it is), but I think this year is gonna be my best ever.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"Apple-converted-space\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCK-1 Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44815653044470,"sku":"FGH-F","price":3.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_FAIRE_PHOTOS_9.23.23_SMALL_SQUARE-16.jpg?v=1723579412"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-grammar-police","title":"Pencils for Grammar Police","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eYour Annoying\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eAhahaha. It’s so easy to get under your skin. Just wanted to shoot a quick message to let you know how impressed we all are that you finally figured out the difference between your and you’re. Welcome to the grammar club, smarty pants. But as a club member, you now have to quit whining about other people’s grammatical errors. Trust me on this point, you're still making some.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eYou Lost Me at \"Your Beautiful\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e*You're\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eThey're Going There, to Their House, OK?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSilently Correcting Your Grammar\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003ePunctuation Saves Lives\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eTo Serve and Correct\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOxford Comma til I Die\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eOfficial Grammar Police Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861891444982,"sku":"GRA-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_GRA-P.jpg?v=1771263396"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-procrastinators","title":"Pencils for Procrastinators","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eTwo Weeks.\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eGo ahead, ask me anything. Invariably, the answer will be “two weeks.” Wondering when I’ll get my grades up? Two weeks. Get my grades up and start working out? Two weeks. Get my grades up, start working out, call my dad, visit my Nana in Florida, get married, buy a house, file for divorce, start my own business and run for office? Two weeks, pal. Two. Weeks.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Always Work Better When it's Next Week\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eMindless Doodling Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Have to Finish This Netflix Series First\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'll Sharpen This Later\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eProcrastinating is Also An Achievement\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'll Find a Use for This Pencil Tomorrow\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLast-Second Crunch Time Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI'll Study After I Clean\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861915693302,"sku":"PRO-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_PRO-P.jpg?v=1771266591"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-teachers","title":"Pencils for Teachers","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eIt's a Snow Day Somewhere...\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eBut not for you! You have another full day of dealing with other people’s children AND their classroom shenanigans. And it’s not that you don’t love teaching. It’s more that nobody truly appreciates all the garbage you go through just to do your job. Isn’t it time people started thanking YOU for YOUR service?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eIDK, \u003cem\u003eCan\u003c\/em\u003e You Go to The Bathroom?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Just Realized I Don't Even Like Kids\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eOh Yeah? Pop Quiz, Suckas\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eI Have PTSD from Grading Papers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDon't You Dare Say \"Wikipedia\"\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eThankless Tasks Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eCountdown to Summer Break\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eDinner... Or Classroom Supplies?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861918511350,"sku":"TEA-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_TEA-P.jpg?v=1771266999"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-the-middle-child","title":"Pencils for The Middle Child","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eWho Are You, Again?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\" style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan face=\"verdana, geneva, sans-serif\"\u003eThe only thing worse than being unnoticed is still being unnoticed when your hair is neon pink and you dress like you’re in the Matrix. Um, hello? Being the first child ain’t all that. The only people who think so are #1. My older sibling and #2. My dumb parents. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about the (cry)baby of the family. Ay caramba.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWho Are You Again?\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMatches the Hair Color\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou Never Did Like Attention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBut You're Good with Rejection!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOnline College Will Be Fine for You\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHand-Me-Down Pencil\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEternally Overlooked\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNobody Will Read This\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861919527158,"sku":"MID-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_MID-P.jpg?v=1771267701"},{"product_id":"pencils-for-writers-block","title":"Pencils for Writer's Block","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"product_description\"\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003eTired of Feeling Like a Bone-Dry Hack?\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eSo the wordsmith’s well has run dry? Try this pack of Writer’s Block pencils. If these pencils don’t help you churn out regurgitated ideas and probably a vampire, I’ll eat my hat. It’s a fedora, by the way. Cool vampires wear fedoras now. Put that in your crack pipe and smoke it. Or in your book. Either way, you’re gonna need these pencils ASAP. Even crap won’t write itself.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePencils:\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eAdd a Vampire\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eRegurgitated Ideas Pencil\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eTry Vodka\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eKill Your Characters\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eLightly Plagiarize\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eInsert Coffee IV\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003ePotential Murder Weapon?\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana, geneva, sans-serif;\"\u003eHit Head Repeatedly With a Hammer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44861924376822,"sku":"WRI-P","price":12.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_PENCILS_BROWN_SMALLSQUARE_WRI-P.jpg?v=1771268617"},{"product_id":"the-goat-boxed-bar-soap","title":"The GOAT Boxed Bar Soap","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eExperience the power of GOATs with The GOAT Triple-Milled Boxed Bar Soap! Enjoy ultra-rich lather formulated specifically for champions! Make sure you're GOAT-approved!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172878672118,"sku":"S-GOAT","price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_SOAPBOXES_HANDWALLPAPER_SMALLSQUARE_S-GOAT.jpg?v=1771445456"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-little-brothers","title":"A Candle for Little Brothers","description":"\u003ch4\u003eSmells like frogs, snails, and puppy dog tails\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eWatermelon Gum Scented\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45172879294710,"sku":"LBR-C","price":13.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/1555\/files\/WRS_DUO_CANDLES_TEAL_SMALL_SQUARE-06.jpg?v=1723754091"},{"product_id":"a-candle-for-fucking-shit-up","title":"A Candle for Fucking Shit Up","description":"\u003ch4\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSmells like my profession\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\" data-mce-style=\"font-family: verdana,geneva,sans-serif;\"\u003eRum Punch Scented\u003cbr\u003eFragrance: Orange, Pineapple\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cem data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Whiskey River Soap Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default 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